Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Space Makers

Rush hour in the Paris metro is not for the faint of heart, nor for the
claustrophobic. On a bad day you can find yourself glued between someone’s gut and someone else’s briefcase. The smell is fearsome. What’s needed is a good way to make some space for yourself, an efficient way to take up more than your share of square centimeters.

This was no problem when I was a music student. Traveling around with a cello can be a real pain – but a cello makes for a damn effective battering ram, I can tell you that much.

I no longer travel much with my cello so I’ve decided that henceforth the thing to do is carry around a stroller. Not too heavy, folds conveniently after I’m done riding. I have no children, nor do I know anyone who could lend me a baby, so the plan is to put a fake baby in the stroller – I'm thinking maybe a Cabbage Patch doll - and ram the sucker into the car. Instant space maker. I’ll have space to breathe, won’t have some stranger’s stomach or crotch glued to my face. Of course, I’ll keep the plastic rain cover down over the stroller so nobody notices that I’m a faker, but just for good measure I’ll lean over and coo to the plastic doll every now and then.

If I’m lucky maybe people may even give up their seats for me.

4 Comments:

Blogger noricum said...

Skip the doll... unnecessary bulk & weight. Simply coo to the empty stroller, and people will simply think you're loony. Alternately, have you tried drooling?

5:40 AM, April 27, 2005  
Blogger Emily said...

You're going to coo? What about putting me in the stroller? You know I love a free ride.

7:47 AM, April 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool blog you have. I have a cello strings notes
related site. Check it out if you get a chance. The URL is cello strings notes

9:39 AM, October 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha! great idea!

this is the first time I have been on this site and the stories are hilarious! I am from australia but was on the metro a year ago- the stories really ring a bell!

9:56 AM, November 19, 2005  

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